hey guys

howve u bin???

dunno if any of u ever read my previous jornal or not... but am feelin a bit better now... though las week it did get a bit more worse

Im still finking bout givin up on being a musician.

Iv also started finkin bout givin up college. has threatened kidnappin me into college if i attempt to, and hammer has made me promise to continue going.

ive also bin feeling lightheaded since Friday but at different times of the day.... is that bad???

In other news, my baby cousin came down yesturday and my has she grown... i didnt recognise her... well i lied, i did but u no wat i mean. my other "cousin" who wants me back with my ex was there too and was continuously glaring evils at me and matt.

Me and matt also met up with Adam yesturday. 1st time in 2 years since ive seen him. dam him. lol

and i got a shocking inbox message on facebook last night. My sister who i had an argument with early this year wrote asking if we could start again and forget bout the he said she said crap... so now me and jenna are starting again. (wonder if it lasts longer than 8months this time XD)

So far thats bout it.

o and im shittin it as in 9days im in the concert and i no for a fact im gonna do shit as i still aint learnt the songs. im so gonna fail.

hope ur all ok.

kat

hey

tbh honest, i dont know what to say.. my mind is blank, im feeling down... Hammer has tried getting it out of me, but ive only managed to say some... y do i always seem to hide it away from people.. ive started hiding it again... i cant sem to talk to people bout stuff.

is coz of the concert thats coming up in 1 week and 6 days???? or am i just... i dunno.

the band have shown there true colours... ive red on myspace that they dont actually want me singing in their group... is that y they are changing the songs to wat i cant do in under two weeks til the concert???

maybe i should just give up and quit college... or maybe i should just give up on the dream altogether... maybe its better for everyone if i jus give up on my dream on becoming a musician!!!

i just dont know anymore

but y is it always this time of year im down... is it coz every year bad things appep at this time of year and that im scared.....

i...... doesnt matter

farewell till next time

hey people

how was ur weekend??

mine was... well i dunno really *sigh*

lets start with Friday shall we???

on friday my band for college (jenova rebirth) was in a bad mood. It was all because out course leader had only JUST told us we only have a 15minute set to fill. Because no one was told this at the beginnning of the course, the band (before I joined)had written 2-3 8minute songs. so now we are being told that we can either shorten the songs or just play 2. but the band aint willing to do that. also they have just found out that we dont actually have to play a cover, so they are gonna so 2 originals. the 2 i aint even got lyrics to yet cause i cant think of any for the song... the only original i have lyrics too cause it was easy, adn the cover which i now know off by heart... they aint doing. ARGH!!!!

and not only that when they were talking bout it they were saying something on how they didnt have a singer, then said they were "forced" to have one... i.e me! and they sounded pretty nasty bout it 2!

also on friday, we were told that we are only allowed to bring 2-4 people along coz of space... and theres everyone invited over 10 people along... YAY!!! *hint sarcasm*

but it was topped off with a happy moment with Hammer taking me on a date to Pizza Hut

So thats friday done

Saturday was a little bit better

On Saturday, went into town with Hammer to meet alex, and we went off to watch New Moon... IT WAS AWESOME!!! though the ending was wierd... and (if u dont like even one line out of a movie dont read this)
bella: I love u Jacob
Who the fuck says that infront of their boyfriend.... Edward was right behind her and she says that to Jacob.... Idiot girl! If I was Edward i would drink her blood! but thats me......

Anyhoos we went off to pizza hut (yes 2 nights in a row... but alex wanted to go) and that was awesome too.. part from The weather, the route we took, the time it was... it just reminded me of when Sadie was put down :'(

.....

Anyways Sunday

Sunday my Father came down o yay *hint sarcasm again* But he bought me Hair Straighteners for my Birthday woop woop ^^ but it was after that what made me feel down

I asked my dad if he was deffinatly was coming down to see the concert (bearing in mind he never ever seen me in a concert or a play before, but his seen my younger siblings) and he goes "i dont know" he then asks my step mother who then says "o, one of the kids bought home a letter about that day but I cant remember what about"

Bullshit!

Yea u just dont want my dad to see me in a concert!!!!!!!

I hate my dad

I hate my step mother

And i espicially hate my brother!!!!!!!

just cause he copies me, but everything he does is golden

All i do is shit!!!!

Like he has a concert on 5th December but My lovely fuking father is going to that!!!!!

I feel sorry for Hammer as he was there while i was getting upset with my dad... I just felt so low...

Then that night, Hammer felt ill, bless him... Then later on, when i woke in the night... I felt like i was bout to throw up (luckily i didnt)

And i dreamt on the to college this morning that ace comics was damaged by a massive fire... i bloody hope not otherwise no more manga's :'(

so yea

My rant is over

Sorry if this took ur time up

and sorry if i took up any of ur jornal space in your messages

kat

heywoo people

how are u all???

yup as every year ive decided to put up a jornal on my birthday XD im officially 19!!!!! god i feel old XD

soo yea what have i bin up 2???

friday was told that my dad wasnt coming down this weekend coz he "didnt have enough money" yet if my brothers ask for something or my stepmother they get it! argh!!! every year he doesnt come down on my birthday or the weekend of my birthday... just for once I want him to!

Me getting this pissed made hammer give me my birthday prezzi early.. he bought me a lil stuffed toy, a black lab to be exact XD its sooooo cute.. reminds me of sadie XD he made sure it didnt upset me 1st bless him

anyways... went to a party on Saturday night as Hammer decided to have his party over a week after his birthday... but unfortunatly only me and turned up... but it we all had fun... me getting drunk on fanta, getting drunk on Cola, and hammer getting drunk on beer

hammer came back with me yesturday (the day me dad was meant to be down) but we missed the bus by 30secs coz hammer was reading the time wrong XD

today im currently in college after 1 lesson that lasted 1hr 30mins and now doing nothing till hammer finishes lesson

god im saying hammer a lot today XD

Also good news... i finally have a pic up on DA

Thankies to for commenting on the pic XD i didnt know i got that good XD

also thankies to everyone else who likes it ^^

anyways thats all for now

hope u have a good week

with love

kat

xxx

my wierd but wonderful family

My mother

my father

my crazed aunt

if u want to be part of the family... jus ask me and u can be ^^ unless i bug u before hand hehe XD

hey there people

kat here with very good news.... i have a cold (dont ask why i sed that was good coz its a pain in the ass!)

but yea... bloody colds

how the hell am i supposed to go through band practice with a runny nose???? i know... i'll plug my nose up with tissue XD hehe.... nah i'll be able to get through it ok ^^

but then wat bout college band practice???? ah they just gonna have to put up with me and a bad voice (if my voice wasnt bad enough already)

apart from that wats up???
not much really apart from drawing (yes people ive actually started drawin again XD) and trying to make up some lyrics for my new college metal band ^^ its hard but ill get there.

so on that note, i shall leave with advice

dont drink and drive, drink and ride a bike instead XD

only joking

see yas ^^

kat

xxx